Visa Status: Loading... loading...

I had an email from The Program this morning requesting a copy of my birth certificate. They have copies of my passport, so I'm not sure why they need further proof that I am, indeed, from Decatur (where they pack that heat).

Priority urgent, I am told, so off I go like a good little girl to Kinko's, where I obediently scan and email my State of Georgia Certificate of Live Birth. (I've always wanted to be one of those people who looks at their birth certificate and finds out something exciting like their dad is not their dad, or they have a secret twin, or that their name was incorrectly registered-- that last one applies to my mom, who should lawfully be addressed as Glenida from now on.) But alas, it tells me nothing I didn't already know. How boring.

This bit of urgency aside, I return to my previously scheduled entertainments, which involve laundry, couch-sitting and the occasional shuffling of papers from one folder to another. (Today I punched holes!)

Ooh, looky!

See what I found? Cool-- if, you know, you consider six minute videos of traffic to be cool.

Welcome Wagon

God bless my principal. He is really in to this, and that's a relief. Having worked previously at a school where the principal's reaction was "No, and don't ever ask me again," it's been an absolute thrill to work with Mr. R on this exchange and to know that I have his full, enthusiastic support.

Today he called a meeting of the Mentoring Team, which was entirely his idea and buddy, let me tell you, he was not messing around. He had notes, he had an agenda, he had intentions: assign roles, handle the media, plan a Welcome Event.

(Side story on media: there was talk of a press conference, but I'm hoping that if I hold my breath and Think Good Thoughts, that will be forgotten. Actually, what happened was that Mr. R said he wanted to put out a press release, which my beloved colleagues believe is the same as a press conference. And even though my mass comm degree was absolutely screaming in pain, I sat very very still and bit my tongue till it bled while my beloved colleagues discussed the best location for the press release. [Okay, I might have backslid a little and suggested the fax machine as the best location for a press release, but they didn't hear me.])

Today we mostly talked about greeting the new girl and assigning "roles" to the various committee members to ensure that all bases are covered. Two faculty members, who sponsor the two largest clubs, are in charge of internal social activities, and as if to demonstrate what great choices Mr. R made, Estle has already planned a welcome breakfast. (There was a brief debate over whether she should be subjected to local breakfast delicacies, to which I emphatically responded yes. I mean, it's not like we're going to make her peel her own crawfish, more to the point, I want shrimp and grits.)

Everyone is very concerned about Florence feeling welcome and at home here; I tried to explain some of the differences in the education systems so they know what she's up against. (I'll never forget Mr. R's flabbergasted reaction when I explained that French schools have no sports, pep rallies, etc.)

And in the course of the meeting, they kept asking if the school in France was making the same preparations for me, which just made me laugh. Talk about cultural differences. The official answer is, I highly doubt it. In general, I find that the French have a much more hands-off approach; they are very respectful of people's privacy (to the point of ignoring them, in my opinion) and tend to approach the professional aspect with an attitude of, "You're a competent, well-educated person, and we have every confidence that you'll figure out what you're doing on your own." Complimentary, of course, though in my case it's a disaster in the making. Good times to come...

More Paperwork

<-- current, undoctored photo of my coffee table

I am convinced that in our nation's capital, commission is not determined by sales or any other revenue-generating practice, but is based solely on the volume of paperwork generated. There can be no other explanation for the arrival, hot on the heels of the massive visa-procedures packet, the arrival of the equally unreasonable grant-procedures packet.

As always, the list of enclosures:

1. Grant authorization document (details of my travel allowance)

2. "Terms and Conditions" (justification for waterboarding)

3. Foreign address report form: an entire 8x11 sheet of paper for recording my address

4. Copy of letter to my administrator (which is hilarious since, as always, he gave me his copy)

5. "Program Fact Sheet" (propaganda)

6. Press release (which is different, my beloved colleagues, than a press conference)

7. Embassy mailing information (a service I'm not entitled to)

8. "What it Means To Be a Program Participant" (Come on, like I even read that.)

Honest to goodness, the recycling dumpster at school is getting a serious workout from these people. Stop the madness! Hug a tree! Stop sending me information that a) I already have and b) doesn't pertain to me anyway!

Today's Special: Visa Procedures!

Direct from the overseas commission that runs these things, a list of documents needed to complete our visa applications. Bear in mind, this is, allegedly, the "simplified procedure":

Salary in US dollars from home institution for the duration of your stay in France

4 identity photos

Photocopies of your passport (make sure that all info, especially passport n°, place and date of issue are legible)

Names and ages of accompanying family members & photocopies of their respective passports

Marital status

Marriage certificates and birth certificates for accompanying family members, if applicable

Birth date & place of birth

A Certificate of coverage from the US Social Security Administration*

(*The CoC has to be applied for online and takes another two weeks to turn around.)

Now, my favorite part. Remember how Mr. Rogers used to take field trips to crayon factories and whatnot and you got to see how the entire process worked? Here's a look into French immigration:

• The Commission prepares a "recruitment" application for each U.S. Exchange Teacher and communicates it to the Office Français de l'immigration et de l'intégration (OFII);
• The Office Français de l'immigration et de l'intégration (OFII) evaluates all applications and, if approved, forwards them to the Direction départementale du travail, de l'emploi et de la formation professionnelle (DDTEFP) ;
• The Direction départementale du travail, de l'emploi et de la formation professionnelle (DDTEFP) then prepares a « contrat de travail » that is sent directly to the French consulate in the U.S. closest to your place of residence;
• You will then need to apply for the appropriate visa with the French consulate; the visa that you will be issued should then read "salarié(e) OFII";
• Soon upon your arrival in France, and most likely during the orientation session in late September, you and any accompanying family members will be convoked to the Paris office of the Office Français de l'immigration et de l'intégration (OFII) for a medical exam;
• After completion of the medical exam, the Office Français de l'immigration et de l'intégration (OFII) will validate your long stay work visa; the latter will serve as your residency permit for the dates of your stay in France, as indicated in the visa.

God save us from the "complicated" version!