More Paperwork

<-- current, undoctored photo of my coffee table

I am convinced that in our nation's capital, commission is not determined by sales or any other revenue-generating practice, but is based solely on the volume of paperwork generated. There can be no other explanation for the arrival, hot on the heels of the massive visa-procedures packet, the arrival of the equally unreasonable grant-procedures packet.

As always, the list of enclosures:

1. Grant authorization document (details of my travel allowance)

2. "Terms and Conditions" (justification for waterboarding)

3. Foreign address report form: an entire 8x11 sheet of paper for recording my address

4. Copy of letter to my administrator (which is hilarious since, as always, he gave me his copy)

5. "Program Fact Sheet" (propaganda)

6. Press release (which is different, my beloved colleagues, than a press conference)

7. Embassy mailing information (a service I'm not entitled to)

8. "What it Means To Be a Program Participant" (Come on, like I even read that.)

Honest to goodness, the recycling dumpster at school is getting a serious workout from these people. Stop the madness! Hug a tree! Stop sending me information that a) I already have and b) doesn't pertain to me anyway!