Hello Winter! You Suck!

Winter arrived yesterday, and I was not pleased. I am not a fan of cold weather, and the prospect of waiting at a bus stop when it's 40 degrees holds absolutely no appeal for me. But, brave soldier that I am, I put on my heavy winter coat (the one I usually only need during Mardi Gras), my gloves and the little wool cap I bought for a trip to Minnesota.

In short, I was ready. And I looked like a freak. I don't know if these people have lava for blood or what, but I was the only one in an actual coat. There were a couple of jackets, a metric ton of scarves, but not hats, no gloves, no coats. Just the crazy American girl. (In my defense, after three years of coastal living, I think Birmingham is unbearably cold.)

I spent most of the day studying the natives, and after dismissing the usual crop of idiot girls who wear denim shorts and black tights even if it snows, I decided that the purchase of a second coat was in order. Something shorter and a wee bit lighter, perhaps. The copy lady told me about an actual mall just south of the school, so today, off I went.

Now, this mall is precisely 2.5 miles from my front door, but because I must avail myself of public transportation, it took me forty minutes to get there. If it hadn't been so bloody cold, I'd probably have walked. And on the way, I had a French Parenting Experience, in that I was stuck next to a rather exhausting mother and child. You remember that old Bill Cosby bit about "Jeffrey, Jeffrey, Jeffrey"? It was like that, only "Inès, Inès, Inès," a name which I previously liked but after today just makes me feel ill.

I walked all over the mall-- it's not bad, it's got an H&M and a Sephora-- but I couldn't find the coat I wanted. So I got on the tram and went all the way back downtown and found one in the first store I walked into. In my typically fashionista manner (cough), I tried the coat on and I thought, "I like this, it's shiny." Turns out it's shiny because, according to the saleslady, it's silk. They make silk coats? I had no idea. Anyway, it was on sale and a pretty good bargain if you don't think about the exchange rate. (And I make it a rule to never, ever think about the exchange rate.)

So bring it, winter. I am ready for you. (But don't bring it too much because, frankly, you suck and I hate you.)